‘Rather,’ I said. She looked sympathetic and I found myself struggling. Like the sergeant who guarded her, I suddenly felt homesick, aware of this great alien city and I in the middle of it, in a great alien country - and somehow she was a comforter. I waited for a moment. ‘I’ve never put a foot wrong before, ‘I volunteered. ‘In life I mean, generally. I don’t take risks but I haven’t ever mucked up either. And now I feel... ‘I searched for the right word. ‘And now I feel unsure. ‘ ‘Ah,’ she said thoughtfully. ‘They have made you unsure.’ ‘They?’ I asked. ‘They don’t think you can do it.’ ‘I don’t quite follow. I was referring to my own abilities.’ ‘No, no. Nothing is wrong with your abilities my new friend, Malcolm. The estate wouldn’t have bothered would it, otherwise? It’s India that’s against you. The regime, the powers here in Calcutta. They have made you unsure.’ |
‘They don’t want it resolved?’ She made an ambiguous movement with her large mouth. The movement annoyed me for it was a huge question that hung over my experience or lack of it. Why would the local authorities not want it resolved? I continued, irritated, ‘But it rather begs the question of why get anybody here at all. Even if the estate suspects foul play, it’s going to become quickly apparent to anyone I interview that I’m not a detective, or even a cop.’ ‘Everyone likes a good mystery.’ ‘But not a muddle. And not murder.’ I paused. ‘Surely?’ But I had added that surely as an after thought. I was battling the subtle psychologies at work in that room. She (Aunty) didn’t represent Mother – she represented something more, more archetypal, a great padded goddess, those cosy bosoms of hers making even a strong man want to confess – confess what, Malcolm? And so the tea comforted me, and I found myself confessing: ‘A man of no significance is brought into a murder muddle in the hope that his own insignificance rubs off like one stain rubbing over another. Is that it? I’m an eraser, an ink blotter. An unmarried man come to investigate a marriage – and a marriage that has |